And Caregiver of the Year Goes To....

... NOT KIKI.

Here is my track record for the week:

• Out to lunch with Grandpa and Mom and we were walking out of the restaurant.  I was so infatuated with the Christmas tree {{shiny things}} and led Grandpa right into the door.

• I've been told I have been blessed with the gift of patience.  A test of these patience I have came:  Grandpa fell asleep with the volume on the television on the highest level, he bumped the remote and left me with twenty minutes of static.  I'm surprised the middle school across the street didn't call and complain about the noise.  Grandpa has remote control ADD and most of the time it doesn't bother me.  I think PMS played a role in my need to isolate myself into the other room for a few minutes of deep breathing.      

• Housekeeper of the Year... also... NOT KIKI
• The kitchen continues to produce dirty dishes.  Every time I go in there, there's more dishes stacked up.  
• Remember when I moved in here way back in July?  Well, I'm still not completely "moved in".  The garage has some of my crap in there.  
• Speaking of moving in, I never really unpacked, either.  The rest of my stuff that I don't use on a daily basis is stacked up on the floor in the basement.  Don't worry - there's a walking path to the Christmas stuff that eventually I will get around to bringing upstairs.
• Do you remember the last time I've vacuumed?  I sure don't.  
• One Word: GUNNER.  Everyday I find stuff that he has hidden.

• I mentioned changing the vacuum cleaner bag.  Not anything I had intended on actually doing this week.  Or next.  A while after I had mentioned it, I heard Grandpa making all kinds of noise down the hallway.  He came out with a vacuum cleaner bag he found in the closet.  {{Hint, Hint?}}  Yes, a blind man was able to find a vacuum cleaner bag in the closet I had looked in four times for a vacuum cleaner bag.  Who is the blind one?

•  The cooking kick is on hiatus.  It's been frozen dinners and stuff aunt Sandy makes for us, or whatever Mom brings up.

• In the time it has taken me to write this, five more dirty plates, thirteen dirty glasses, a dirty pan, and four cookie sheets have piled up in the sink.  WHO IS DOING THIS?

• Grandpa may not be able to see, but he knew I didn't take the garbage out yesterday.  Good thing his reminder came before the garbage truck!

Thanksgiving 2011

Thanksgiving dinner was out at Mark and Shannon's new house this year.  It doesn't get much more festive than a Packer Game and appearance by none other than Mike McCarthy - the other Mike McCarthy, aka my dad.  Isn't it cool that my parents are divorced, yet come to family gatherings and get along?  One of the many things I am thankful for.

Mom and Mark put the meal together.  Two turkeys, ten pounds of potatoes, ten pies, wild rice stuffing, sweet potato casserole, and... did I mention ten pies?  

Cherry pies were made by Maddie & Nolan

Mmm

Although the meal is one of the must-haves on Thanksgiving, this year Green Bay took center stage in the family room on the big flat screen TV.  The vast majority of the family had some variation of green and gold attire on.  You know it's a Wisconsin Thanksgiving when the prayer and meal wait until half time and there are tables set in close proximity to the television. 

Speaking of the prayer...

 Thanksgiving Artwork by Nolan & Madeline

 

 

Unfortunately, this turkey was not pardoned!

Uncle Larry is shown here multitasking: 

Mashing Potatoes

Pretending not to pose for a picture

Listening to the Packers

And...

Forget the potatoes...

The Packers are Winning! 

Of course, a Packer win on Thanksgiving is something to be very grateful for; however, there are other things I found myself thinking about this year.  Even though it seems like it hasn't been a year, last year on Thanksgiving we spent the evening trying to help with Grandpa Tom's eulogy.  We didn't know it at that time, but Grandpa would not be the only one missing this year, that holiday traditions were going to have to change, and no matter what you're going through, you have to take time to count your blessings because you just never know what you could wake up without tomorrow. 
  

 

One Year

Grandpa Tom

November 18, 1933 - November 18, 2010

Nolan's 2nd Birthday Party

I sat with Grandpa and held his hand for the last time a year ago yesterday.  On my way out of Wausau, I stopped to say goodbye before driving back to La Crosse.  It was early and Aunt Patty, Uncle Frank, and Dad were still sleeping.  I didn't know it at the time, but I had a feeling that would be my last visit with Grandpa Tom.  Quietly, I took a seat beside his bed and held his hand.  The tears streamed down my face as he struggled with each breath.  His dog, Puddles (Grandpa's 'hummingbird retriever), sat on the bed at his side.  As soon as Grandpa fell ill, that dog would not leave him.  Even trying to get her outside or getting her to eat was a challenge.  

Silently, I just stared at him.  He was so thin and pale, but I could still see him just as he is in the picture above, could hear his gut laugh, and almost expected him to wake up with some wise crack or joke.  I tried to remember some of his one-liners to make myself laugh, but I couldn't come up with any.  

Instead, my mind went back to the blue house on Thomas Street.  Some of my favorite childhood memories took place in that house.  Grandpa and Grandma Judy seemed to spend most of their time in the kitchen.  George Brandenburg, Dad, and Grandpa would have coffee at the kitchen table and Shannon and I would go off and play on the sun porch.  If our cousins Kathy and Kristy were in town, I would BEG Mom and Dad to take us over to visit.  We'd have slumber parties and gather every blanket and pillow we could find and pile up on the floor in the living room.  

Grandpa loved me before I even realized it, but I guess that's the way it works when you're little.  You receive so much more than you give.  I was told that he thought I was the neatest thing because, of all things, my childhood temper tantrums.  When Mom and Dad were ready to toss me out the window, Grandpa would laugh and put me on his lap.  I could be beat red in the face, bashing my head against a wall, and grunting, but Grandpa would smile.  

I had heard stories about Grandpa's temper but only saw it once in my life.  I was horsing around with the dog, Millie, and she snapped at me.  He picked the dog up so fast and threw it out the backdoor, while I assumed the "oh man, I just pissed off the dog and Grandpa" position under the dining room table.  Grandma crawled under the table with me until I wasn't embarrassed anymore.  Just like my grandpa, I have mellowed with age.  

I gave Grandpa a kiss on the cheek and whispered to him, say your prayers.  I patted Puddles on the head, took a box of Kleenex, and left to spend three hours driving back to La Crosse.  The 167 miles back were quiet and most of the Kleenex ended up on the floor of the passenger side.  No music.  Just thoughts.  

It was a year ago tomorrow night that Dad called me.  I was in bed, but I wasn't sleeping.  When he told me Grandpa was gone, I knew he was at peace.  He must have decided he didn't want to spend one more birthday without Grandma.  

I'll be thinking about him tomorrow, as I have been today, yesterday, and throughout this last year.  I may have to pull out my Yoopers CD and listen to The Second Week of Deer Camp a few times and stop off at Red Granite to play some pull tabs.  I'll play some Johnny Cash on the jukebox, have a drink, and come up with a long list of things I wish I would have asked him when I had the chance.  Grandpa Larry doesn't know it, yet, but I am sure I'm going to have some questions for him tomorrow.

Nolan's 5th Birthday

Although Nolan doesn't actually turn five until tomorrow, we celebrated last night at Mark & Shannon's.  For some bizarre reason, I thought it would be a great idea to bake Nolan a cake. 

Now, curiosity has led me down many paths.  When I see something, I often think, "Hey - I could do that!"  I think that is how I became a guitar player, singer and songwriter, a photographer, a sign language interpreter, a half-assed marathon runner, and a science major.  It's also the hey, I could do that curiosity that designed my websites, recorded CDs, decorated slum apartments, and exposed my hidden talent of touching my tongue to my nose.

So, naturally, while watching episodes of Cake Boss and Ace of Cakes, you know what I was thinking: I CAN DO THAT!  Nolan and I sat down with my laptop and did a Google image search of fun cupcakes based on a Toy Story theme.  He saw cupcakes that were made to look like the alien toys.  After Nolan went home, I kept looking at what else was out there for cake ideas - not just cupcakes. 

After searching for recipes for buttercream frosting and fondant, I made up my grocery list, grabbed Grandpa, and off we went to the store.

The List
3 Bags of Confectioner's Sugar
Clear vanilla extract
EGGS
Milk

Butter
Food Coloring

Variety of Candy Bars

Gloves
Excedrin (For Grandpa)
Bananas (For Grandpa)
Halls Cough Drops (For Grandpa)
Cake Mix (Yeah, I cheated!)

It was 4:53 PM on Friday night when I began the cake process.  Here is the recipe I followed for the fondant, but I do not recommend it:  Rolled Buttercream Fondant  It has GREAT reviews, but I used an extra pound of sugar to try and ease the grease, but it did not help at all.  Next time, I'll try either the marshmallow fondant or the one that calls for gelatin. 

I baked the cakes first using Betty Crocker's cake.  Thanks, Betty.  I used two mini bread loaf pans for the bed, and then two circle pans for the base.  While the cakes were baking I made the fondant.  Meanwhile, Grandpa wanted a fish fry.  He told me to just go to the IGA deli.  So, I took a break and went for his fish fry.  I came home and put his fish on a plate with his sides. 

As he was eating, Grandpa asked, "Did you get this from IGA?" 

"No," I said.  "I went to Culver's because I didn't want to go into the store!  I'm COVERED in powdered sugar!" 

And, it was right back to business!  In order for the fondant to stick to the cake, I read I was supposed to put a layer of frosting on the cake.  Here's the recipe I used for the frosting: Buttercream Frosting

The food coloring process was a challenge because it didn't want to soak in with all of the grease.  The best tip I found: WEAR GLOVES!  I bought a 30 pack of gloves specifically for cooking.  Had I not used them, I would have some bizarre looking hands for a while.

To reach the vibrant red color, I used an entire bottle of red food coloring.  

I found neon food coloring and mixed the neon blue with the regular blue coloring.

The bed is cake covered in fondant.  

The pillows are Reese's Peanut Butter Cups cut into squares and covered with white fondant.  

I did the same thing with the Etch-a-Sketch.

To make a headboard, I stacked Rolo's using toothpicks to hold them in place. 

The top is a Reese's candy bar.

All of the round balls around the cake are fondant, too!  I ate WAY TOO MANY of those.

The big green blobs are supposed to be the aliens.  They were the last things I put together and was running out of steam.  (That happens after spending 10 hours on a cake, I guess.)  Nothing fancy was done with those.  They are cupcakes that I made in a big muffin pan.  I just used the neon green food coloring in the buttercream frosting.

The finished product:

Here are some pictures of the party:

YEE-HAW!

"Lotso can't go on the bed because he's a bad guy!"

The sugar high has left the building!

And, the sugar high is back!

Five already.  Unbelievable!

Maddie!

Aunt Kathy!!

Uncle Lyle!

Shannon & Kiki

Nolan and Great-Grandpa Larry

And that's what Gunner thinks of this present!

No comment!

Jada!  So cute!!

Everyone wants to be a cowboy!

Has anyone seen my shoe??

Prayers of a Caregiver

Dear God, Let this be PMS because today was unusually a rough one. 

I've worked as a caregiver on and off throughout college for people with disabilities, have worked and volunteered with the elderly, and have taken care of friends and family during illnesses.  Living and taking care of Grandpa on an all-the-time basis is a little different.  When 5:00 comes, I don't punch out.  There is no Friday paycheck.  A weekend "off" (usually to photograph weddings, or other photo or music-related ventures... aka work) takes more coordinating than simply submitting vacation requests to a scheduler. 

Being a full-time, around-the-clock provider is something that has taken a lot of adjusting and getting used to.  When I would stay and help Grandpa out while I was still living in La Crosse, I always had my own place to go home to where I came first.  When I wanted dinner, I'd make it.  When I wanted to or had to go somewhere, I just left without checking with anyone first.

Dear God, just give me five minutes and let it turn into an hour.

My "office" -- which is an old kitchen table in the corner of Grandpa's four-season room -- is a disaster.  I'm behind on photo editing and that is my own fault.  I'm sure other people caring for a loved one will agree that on the daily list of priorities, I'm at the bottom.  There's too much guilt that goes along with me-time, so it's best to just keep myself on the back-burner to avoid it, right?  But then, the little pot on the back-burner starts boiling out of control and she has no choice but to put on the brand new running shoes she bought yesterday and just GO!

And, that is what I did.  After four loads of laundry that didn't belong to me, I felt like Forest Gump and pulled off two miles in 26 minutes.  AND, did I mention I am out of shape?

I came back, crashed in the recliner while Grandpa was drinking his beer and watching college football, and felt like I should have gone another 26 minutes.  Then, Grandpa knocked his beer over and it went all over the same spot of carpet countless cups of coffee, juice, and water have been dropped.

Dear God, Grant me patience.

On the end table I had a stack of dish towels I hadn't yet put away, so I grabbed them to sop up the beer.  I put the dishrags in the laundry room, took care of the empty can, and went to the bathroom.  While was in the bathroom, I could hear Grandpa talking to me not realizing I wasn't in the room.  When I didn't answer, he kept repeating my name over and over until I came back into the living room.

"Grandpa, do you need something?" I asked.
"Oh, no.  I just wanted to see where you were."

Dear God, I read a Facebook post saying, "What if you woke up with only the things you thanked God for yesterday."  So, God, thank you for giving us Grandpa's vision back.  

Well, you can't blame me for trying.


It was not even 9:00 PM and I was ready to call it a night when the phone rang.  Grandpa answered it and talked to Aunt Sandy for quite a while.  Eventually, he turned the phone over to me.

Aunt Sandy began to tell me about a conversation she had with Grandpa about me.  That I was the best thing that could have happened to him.  That even though I sometimes don't talk much, he knows I'm here.  That Grandma Jean would be proud of me.

And then I felt like an ass.  For letting myself get caught up in all of the selfish thoughts of needing more me-time, of feeling bad about scoping out the job market throughout the nation on a weekly basis to see what opportunities are out there, and for reminding myself that this is only temporary.

Forgive me.

Remind me of balance.  Remind me of patience.  Remind me of how temporary this really is and that this time is precious and not a burden.  Remind me that it's okay to be selfish once in a while if it makes me a better caregiver for Grandpa.  Remind me that my worst days would be what some people may consider their best days.  


And, if I don't give thanks enough - thanks for letting Grandpa stay with us when you could have easily called him home last year.  And thank you for the great sale on running shoes.  They'll be a great help, I hope. 


Amen.